Thursday, 17 July 2008

Finding the words

Today I have put head phones on.
Let music take over the twisted arguments that surround me
I play the music of the faithful fullbore
Let their words of belief and struggle
Speak for me
Fake it till you make it
Lord have mercy

To others in the same turmoil as me
I am going well
I can advise
Advocate for them
Make demands they have no strength to make themselves
It is only when a cavalry of one appears – a lone rider we would drag from the horse and hold dear
that my own trauma is revealed
She asks what I do
and I can no longer find clear words to say
I am unmasked
I am seen
And in the seeing my own desperation
My own ache is pinned to the board

So I search to reconcile injustice and love
Human weakness and perfection
I have yet to find the way

On the white board at work
I write
'Remember God'
A day later is added
'Remember each other'
'Do not close your doors'
When I wonder if secretly in my calling to God
I write on my own whiteboard
'Please God remember me'
Your forgotten servant
Lord Have Mercy

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