For the last week I have been slowly immersing myself in my latest icon project. The project is a series of icons for St Johns College Chapel for Easter. Basically they will fit into a candelabra in a triangular space. The first is a grieving Mary, the second a lamentation and hopefully a Resurrection. Such projects have a way of raising me up and throwing me to my knees.
I had thought I had, after some time immersed in the agony of the Marion icon for Good Friday, nearly finished. However with the gilding I have come undone.
One of the down sides of living in Auckland is having to adjust to how the tropical climate interacts with both the God leaf and the size. As such I am about to go and for the second time sand of the Gold and begin again.
People are saying just leave it who will care?
Yet I know I will, and indeed more importantly that this is a holy task, that Mary deserves more than to be hurried over to get to the next steps. In the end I know I need to ignore those voices and concentrate on doing what I am lead to do with this icon.
Yesterday in preparation for an intensive painting time Father Honore' took a commissioning Eucharist for me in the chapel. It was a true gift. The exorcising of salt and water, the consecration of Holy water was all a real blessing. Now a bowl of the Holy water sits in the icon room for all who enter.
At moments such as this when I have opened myself up to be commissioned and set aside for this act I am aware in part of separating out again from the world, and stepping into a kairos time.
At present the gilding or re gilding of Mary is just another part of that process, of stripping myself of the once over lightly attitude of the world.
I know that I just have to stop struggling and let myself sink beneath the waters.
Thanks be to God
Meg in the sea